Journey of a thousand miles? What is the first step?
How can you take a step you don’t know what it is?
Everyone is making the journey of life. Most do not have a clue how to take the journey. They follow the same narrative. Go to school, graduate, get a great job, get married, have a family, buy a house, grow old, retire, die.
It’s an amazing map of your life isn’t it? Just follow it step by step, and you will have a great life.
Why is it then so many people are unhappy? There is certain certainty in the plan isn’t it? It’s supposed to make you happy right? There is one critical flaw in the plan. It does not match all the personalities of all the people out there in the world.
- Imagine your last day
- Make a change, even a small one
- Follow through
- Rinse and repeat
Imagine your last day
This isn’t my advice, this is actually from a graduation ceremony speech by Steve jobs.
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
- Steve Jobs
The most recent occasion I have looked in the mirror, I did not fully have a “yes” on my face. I also did not have a true “no” either. This confusion has been my biggest enemy. The lack of clarity even following this advice has been my greatest source of stress.
Some parts of my life, which includes my family and my job, are amazing. However, I’m not the happiest as to the level of freedom I have to be able to follow through on some of my other passions.
I am most passionate about 2 things that I have no room for in my life at this moment. Number 1, I love to travel. As much as I love my job and my career, travel isn’t a big part of it. With the pandemic on, this has become still more distant goal of mine.
I want to be able to explore parts of the country I live in. I love to explore the parts of the world I live in. Two things that hold me back are time off (from work) and money (outside of my expenses) to be able to do.
Number 2, I love to own my own home, and not deal with rental apartments, or landlords of any kind. I am grateful to have decently priced apartment which doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, which in today’s market is a big deal. However, there comes a time when you want the freedoms of being able to barbecue in your backyard without the fire department showing up because you want to use charcoal instead of electric grill.
If I imagined my last day, having a “no” of any sort, even an iffy one is not a firm “yes” either. I need to change something.
Make a change, even a small one
Making a change is the hardest part of this whole equation isn’t it? What change should I make? How to make the change? Will the change you are making truly make an impact?
Finding an answer, instead of having more questions come to your mind, is a very challenging part of the whole process. What I have learned is this. The best advice, once again, comes from Steve jobs.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
- Steve Jobs
See from what I’ve learned the change you make is a change your very being is asking you to make. If the change you make is adding to your stress, it is the wrong change. You should not feel stress. It should feel amazing because you made the change. It should feel like this is the path you need to be in. It should feel right from every fibre of your being.
It isn’t scientific, the change you are making. It is the change that is the first “dot” that eventually connects to other “dots” in the future. As Steve said, “you have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life karma, whatever.” You have to trust that what every fibre of your being is telling you, is the right way.
For me, for now, travel isn’t an option. The challenge ultimately is money, and time. However, I can work towards a house. I have the financial resources to reach that goal soon. One thing that is causing me the most anxiety though is the sheer stratospheric rise in the price of the houses. However, every fibre of my being is saying that I have to work towards saving for it, and reducing all my debts.
Every fibre of my being is telling me that I should be looking at the houses that I want, and fit into the most. I should not limit myself at all. I should trust that somehow, the house is mine. I just don’t now how yet.
I have found in the past, this method does work. So the change I’m making is the fact I’m going to stop stressing about the prices of the houses out there. Instead I’m going to focus on the “dream” house of mine. My dream isn’t to own a mansion. I don’t think this “dream” is unattainable at all. I own the very car I always wanted to own. I have used this process before. I’m going to use it.
That’s my change. I will give myself permission to dream. I’m going to listen to my gut and do what’s next. I don’t know if I will succeed. However, if history is any indication, I will definitely succeed.
Follow through
When you fall throughout life, remember this, fall forward.
- Denzel Washington
Have you ever had days when things seem to go against you? You have been going about the day, and everything you do is not working out. I’ve had those days. Say it for work, for family, for life in general, I’ve had those days before.
If I ask any one of you, I bet you had those days. I have tried, and tried, and tried again, and still failed to achieve my goal.
If I have a unwavering faith in what I’m about to achieve, not a force on planet Earth can stop me, unless God wants me stopped. I will find a way to make it happen, if not today, then tomorrow, or the day after, or the month after, or the year after.
If I fail to achieve the goal, I’m going to look at the failure like my 12th grade physics teacher. I almost failed that class. I didn’t. I almost didn’t graduate from high school because I did fail a requirement. I did not only graduate high school, I also graduated University. I have worked for some amazing companies. I have achieved abilities in a field I never thought I had a chance in hell of ever succeeding.
Fall Forward. I refused to give up when I failed. I didn’t have a life of privilege. My parents could barely afford to keep the house we owned. We lived in rental places were not the best, we had to wash our plates in the clothes washer tub sink because the kitchen sink was blocked and the landlord wouldn’t fix it. Fall Forward.
Follow through, go the next step.
Rinse and repeat
Only way to continue to be successful in things you have no idea how to do is to repeat the steps above.
- Get it completely clear in your mind what the future you want looks like. So clear, that you are there physically. You can feel the wind on your face. You can smell the smells. You can taste what’s in the wind as well. You are there, even without being there physically. Feel it as if you are already there. Get excited.
- Make a change. Figure out what the change is. Whatever it is, it must feel great in every fibre of your being. It should never feel stressful
- Follow through. Stick to the change you made, and follow through on everything that needs to be done to make this change permanent if it feels good. Don’t doubt, don’t second guess. Just make it happen.
Repeat this 3 steps. It has brought me the success I have so far. I believe it may bring it for anyone he/she chooses. I’ll write more on what my next steps are once I figure out #2 for me.