5 Life lessons of going through the fire
lessons I’ve learned to have best life
- Mistakes aren’t fatal, they give you experience.
- Trust is earned, but without a leap of faith, it cannot be earned.
- Luck is simply the willingness to take the chance on an opportunity.
- Sitting there and hoping, will never bring your dreams into reality
- Don’t be afraid to daydream
Mistakes aren’t fatal, they give you experience
Many of us, including myself once, look at mistakes like they are a plague to avoid. Mistakes aren’t fatal. Some mistakes are fatal. However, most mistakes are a blessing on your life. Mistakes teach lessons. Mistakes make you better at something than you were before.
Simplest example I can give. I took a recipe for a keto cheesecake. I decided to follow it and make it. Trouble is the amounts they give, sometimes does not make the best cheesecake, because the ingredients they have doesn’t necessarily taste as good. Also since this is a keto cheesecake, the sugar replacement also has the aftertaste problem.
I had to experiment with different sugar replacement supplements. Sometimes I overestimated. I had to guesstimate, based on taste, the amounts necessary of each ingredient. Even the brand of butter and cream cheese used makes a difference. There is an old saying in computer science, “garbage in, garbage out”, but “gold in brings gold out”.
In life I’ve made mistakes bigger than that. The most common one that most students make, I’ve also made. I thought of the “free” credit card offers that the banks give out to the students as truly free. Off course I had to pay for it, and when I couldn’t I paid with my future with interest and bad credit.
Albert Einstein said “compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. He who understand it earns it. He who doesn’t pays it.” Think about that, the 8th wonder of the world. Modern day slaves are slaves to money. It’s amazing how many of us work for money. Imagine who are the ones who suffered the most from the restrictions brought on by many countries around the world during the pandemic. Who are the people who were just getting by? Who benefited most from it? Who are the people who got richer and who got poorer?
Amazon never made profit the first decade of it’s life. Tesla was a loss making company for 12 years. Jeff Bezos said once “your margin is my opportunity”. Elon Musk once “transferred his last million dollars from PayPal sale to keep Tesla afloat for a few more days”. Now Amazon is making many billions of dollars in profits. In 2020 Tesla is the most successful Electric Vehicle companies that most other car companies are rushing to catch up with. It has been said that Tesla is 6 years ahead of any competitions. Yet owners of both corporations made a lot of mistakes
This is what separates the rich from the poor. Mistakes are a badge the rich and successful wears. Mistakes give you the most valuable thing anyone can ever have in life, experience. Mistakes tell you what not to do in the future, so you can find out what to do. Edison put it the best, “I haven’t failed, I found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.
So as miss frizzle used to say in the amazing show The Magic School Bus. “Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!”. That is an amazing way of showing kids that “making mistakes is the best way to learn”. So make a lot of mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, keep making it, and be thankful for their lessons.
Remember, if you don’t do something where you can make a mistake, you aren’t pushing yourself out of your comfort zones. You won’t gain any more success than you already have gained where you are today. You want more success, you need to get out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable. Comfort is the killer of success, make yourself uncomfortable.
Trust is earned, but without a leap of faith, it cannot be earned
Trust has meanings in many different forms. One of the most successful corporations in the world today is Google. Did you know Google started with the mantra “Don’t be evil”? It is one of the main reasons why people were so willing to trust their personal data to Google to this day. Google has grown up, and that statement no longer applies as they “quietly removes” the statement.
I remember growing up, one of the things that my parents drilled into me. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t hang with the wrong group. My parents kept a strict curfew of 7 or 8 pm. It’s almost as if my parents didn’t trust me to be able to make my own decisions. It turned out, they lacked one critical factor in their ability to cultivate trust.
They didn’t trust easily, yet they trusted way to easily. They trusted strangers way more than their own children. They didn’t take the leap of faith in their children, but they somehow were willing to take that leap of faith (sometimes to their own peril) with strangers. Yet we were told, don’t speak to strangers.
What have I learned from watching this behaviour, that they themselves failed to instil upon us? What is trust mean? Why is it so important to have it. Why isn’t it always the most fatal mistake if you lose it?
Trust is a very precarious thing. It takes a lot to earn it from some people. Others are far too willing to trust. Trust ultimately is the knowledge that something is a “fact” without the evidence to confirm such “fact”.
For example, one trusts his wife, or her husband that she/he is faithful to him/her. They will always remain faithful. They can control any bad habits they have and will work towards the good of the family, even if it means personal sacrifice. With 50%+ divorce rates, we know this trust is broken.
When these relationships were forming, the trust isn’t something that was there. This formed over time. However, a leap of faith was definitely necessary. Without that leap of faith, how can trust form? Without that leap of faith how can one ever become friends from being strangers to each other?
Another example of trust is in business. A brand is something many companies invest heavily into. Why is that? Why is it important?
A brand becomes a symbol of trust for the consumer. A brand is what makes the same car worth $20,000 to $50,000 dollars more. Toyota has suffered greatly to their brand in 2008 because it is associated with safety. The trust was broken because Toyota’s investment into safety started lacking. Today the biggest selling features is the 5 star safety system.
Imagine the power of trust can be. It makes you comfortable. It allows you to make decisions easier without worrying about the future. It allows you to know the “facts” about something that you can rely on. Without it nearly 90% of commerce that happens today will not happen. Without it, our economy breaks down. Without it society will simply break down. To build it, one must takes leaps of faith without knowing it’s a fact.
I hope I was able to convey the depth of importance in the concept of trust. It is quite important.
Luck is simply the willingness to take the chance on an opportunity.
Lucky guy. Amazing how many people have said that to me about various parts of my life. Amazing how untrue that feels sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for all the things in my life. However, I have worked for many of them. I know what I have been through to get to where I am today.
When I was getting started. I sent out over a 50 resumes to get my first permanent job. I got nothing, zilch zero. No one replied. It was like I was sending my resume into the ether.
I searched the libraries for all resume, cover letter, interview books I found. I spent 50 hours on reading and gathering the books. I have built a resume, dumped the cover letters (no one really reads them, there is no real time for hiring managers). I prepped myself for the interviews. When I sent out my new and improved resume. You know what, out of 10 resumes, I got 2 interviews. The preparation I put in allowed me to take on those interviews with amazing results. I got offers from both jobs.
I was “lucky” wasn’t I? Anyone looking at my rate of success will tell me that. Luck had little to do with this. I had intent and I worked my a** off to get the job. “Luck” is simply the end result of that long road to success. “Luck” is willingness to take the risk necessary to move forward. “Luck” is willingness to take a risk without knowing the true consequences.
Someone once told me “Success is preparation meets opportunity”. No one can truly be prepared to take the opportunity. They must be “prepared” to take the leap of faith necessary to take on the opportunity with the “fact” that this will be good for you in the long term. Do you guys see where I am trying to go with this? How prepared are you to meet the opportunities that come your way? What “Luck” will do for you in the future? How hard are you willing to work for the success that awaits you?
Sitting there and hoping, will never bring your dreams into reality
Someone once told me, “Look at yourself in the mirror, does this look like a smart person? Someone who is successful?” I had no idea what he was talking about. If you become comfortable with who you are and how you do things, you usually have no idea how to be anything or anyone else.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think one should truly ignore who you are. You are worth who you are. However, who you are is distinctly different from the value you place on yourself. The value you place on yourself to “look good” is as much for your own benefit as it is of the benefit of others. When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you see a well groomed person who can speak to anyone and have them trust him/her. To be able to interact with anyone with trust and integrity. Who values himself/herself enough to upkeep his/her own body.
This upkeep, the value you give yourself, shows up in the way you look, dress, speak. This upkeep makes one confident enough to have courage when interacting with others. Also allows one to have the courage to know his/her own value when making deals with anyone. this allows them to ask for and receive what they are worth in any business/personal dealings.
Take care of yourself is one of the biggest things we can can do for ourselves. It makes us healthier. It makes us more confident. It allows us to be more thankful. It allows us to be willing to do what is necessary to make our dreams come true.
If you fail to treat yourself well, then you sit there waiting for opportunities that never come. If not that, then you miss one opportunity after another because either you are too blind to see them, or you are too afraid to take advantage of them. Sitting there and hoping will never bring your dream into reality.
Start with taking care of yourself. Physically, mentally, externally and most importantly internally value your own worth. Then be thankful for what you have in yourself. don’t just sit there, do something to make your dreams come true. Even if it simply to get a new haircut, or a new t-shirt.
Downtime is just as important as up-time. Constant “go go go” will only lead to burnout. This is another part of caring for yourself. Find downtime and take it. Don’t think about work, but work to find activities that take your mind completely out of work.
Don’t just sit there, make your dreams come true.
Don’t be afraid to daydream
Sometimes the simplest solutions to the toughest problems come to you when you aren’t even looking at the problem. The solution comes because when you aren’t thinking about the problem, you are thinking of something completely different. Solution and problems are complementary, but one cannot arrive at the solution without thinking different from the problem
Simplest example of this, a puzzle. When you build a puzzle of a 20 pieces. The thing looks nothing like the picture. The question of how to put it together seems so far away from the solution. How the heck does all these pieces look like that end result picture?
You approach trying to match each piece. An hour later it looks just as impossible as when you started. Then you leave it alone and all of a sudden a light bulb goes on. Oh no, what if I try it this way. You try and in 5 minutes you have half the puzzle done, on the way to finishing in 10 more minutes or so. see 15 minutes when last time an hour without any progress. How did that happen?
I found this very concept to be the power of daydream. Let’s explore quickly how one dreams. Does most of your dreams make sense? Think back to the last dream you remember. Did everything make sense to you? Why do we dream if it makes no sense at all?
Dreams are ultimately a way your conscious mind to be involved with the unconscious mind and help you decipher any problems to find their solution. This also works during waking hours, although to a lesser extend. Let your mind wander from time to time, to take it off task. Sometimes it communicates with the unconscious mind to find a solution that you were thinking about just a few minutes ago.
Your brain has so much more info than you are consciously aware of. The solutions you are looking for might exist and daydreaming is a way to get to it more readily. Ultimately dreaming is the best method as it not only allows you to come up with creative solutions to all your problems. It also allows you to work out things and process things that normally would drive you insane (not known facts, but I found it working for me).
The object lesson? Daydream from time to time. It would help you be more creative in your life. If nothing else, at least you would have some fun without the wondrous little devices we have in our hands all the time these days. See where it truly gets you.
What would be your life lessons? These are what I found to be the most memorable lessons of life I have in my ultimately short life. I would love to hear yours.